something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
