i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
