a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
So vagazzling was a success
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
