I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
The chlamydia really affected his face.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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