People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
