I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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