my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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