fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
