So gin and wine won't be happening again
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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