Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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