Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
