So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
