If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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