ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
