im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
