are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize