Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
did i just pee glitter
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
