why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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