I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
