if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
