we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
