i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
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