you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
