i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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