Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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