Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
i was born a porn star she said
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
