i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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