So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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