smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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