you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
