Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
