Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
He literally asked permission to hit on me
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
