i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
