"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
