Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Randomize
