feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
i think i have two assholes
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
