I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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