i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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