So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
people are starting to question the shark bite story
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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