he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
