you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
They took my balls.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
