brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize
