ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
