omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
