But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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