My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
