I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Randomize
