You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
