I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
