38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
