I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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