I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
God, you're like boner-b-gone
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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