2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
